Big Talk is a movement that was started by Kalina Silverman to help bring people together and talk about what really matters in life.

I think that something we all need to do more is engage in Big Talk. It makes us happier, more fulfilled, and as a result of deeper conversation, we have a much richer and more active social life. Many people of all ages feel alone to some degree, and most are willing to connect if given the chance. The problem is that most people don’t know how to go about it, and are afraid of rejection or being perceived as strange for trying to make deeper conversation. It is up to each of us to reach out to others and make it happen. Not only will you feel good, but you will also learn so much about the other person. Who knows, you might even make some new close, lifelong friends… And what is life without people you care about to share it with? Part of that feeling of fulfillment is a happy and healthy social life, rich in deeply connecting with others and enjoying each other’s company.  A relationship is so much more meaningful and enjoyable when you really know the other person.

Now it’s your turn!

The Challenge: 

Make Big Talk with one person today. It can be your friend, a stranger, a coworker, classmate, whoever!

Let me know how it went! Tell me about your experience in the comments. I’d love to hear all of the great stories that will come from this challenge.

*Note: if you don’t know what to ask, then Kalina also made a card game with different deep questions on each one. She has some pictures of the cards for examples, which you can look at and pick one to ask someone today.  You can also look around on this site here, as there are plenty of deep questions you could ask others. 🙂

We all think that we are more alone than we actually are. I know I have felt this way plenty of times. But if you stop and think about it, I bet you can find at least one or two people who really love and care about you (even if it is just your mom). Whenever I feel alone, I stop and ask myself,

“Who will always be there for me no matter what?” 

This one question led me to notice that I actually have many people in my life who care and love me just as much as I love and care about them. I personally counted 7. Most of my suffering from feeling alone came from my own inaction. I wasn’t taking the time that was needed for each relationship to continue to thrive. I wasn’t taking these people for granted, but at the same time I was not putting as much proactive effort into keeping up close relationships with each of these people. I needed to take the initiative on my friendships and on the area of my social life.

It also made me realize that it is more fulfilling and meaningful to have a few friends whom you know and care about very deeply than tons of friends- all of whom you only know only on the surface. That will lead you to true loneliness quicker than anything else. I learned that the hard way. Keep the ones you love close.

Does this mean you can’t have any friends other than your closest friends? Of course not! I just mean that maintaining and engaging in those fewer but deeper relationships is going to bring you much more lasting happiness in your life, so focus on keeping those relationships happy, healthy, and consistent. Surface friends will bring you lots of fun, enjoyment, excitement, pleasure, and short-term happiness – which is great! We all need these feelings and emotions in our lives to some degree. But close friends will bring you the fulfillment, meaning, and lasting happiness we all truly want and need.  How do we become close to others? Make big talk!

To living your best life,

-Alex

ps- I am not endorsed in any way by Kalina Silverman for this post. I just love her movement and I think that it is something we all can improve at to make the world a better place. My goal through this blog is to help you be happy, healthy, and wealthy in all areas of your life. Making Big Talk can do this for your social life. Check out Kalina’s Ted Talk about Big Talk for more on the movement and the idea. 

In my previous post, The Power of Intention (Part 1), I shared a powerful article written by Carolyn Caputo. The post was a simple overview of the power of Intention and how it can benefit your life.

Today, I would like to dive a little deeper into the Power of Intention and talk about how you can use it in your own life.

Intention is the starting point of every dream. It is the creative power that fulfills all of our needs, whether for money, relationships, spiritual awakening, or love.

– Deepak Chopra

Intention comes from desire. When there is something that you want to do, the first thing you have to do is realize it! You must realize the ‘something’ that you want to do. This is intention. It is a directed impulse of consciousness that contains the beginning form of what you want to create. Your destiny is shaped by your deepest desires deepest intentions.

So, how can you use intention to get what you want in life? 

Here is what I personally do:

A lot of the time, I am just going through my day when I realize something that I would like to have in my life. For example, here are some things I realized that I would like: more travel, money, better eating habits, less stress and clutter in life, simplicity, living my dream life, etc. These thoughts always occur when I am right in the middle of doing something like while I am driving or with friends. Instead of meditating about it later, or forgetting about it; all I do is take a few seconds (literally like 3 seconds) to center myself, maybe close my eyes, and simply ask for it in my head. I don’t have a single worry or doubt when I ask for it. I simply ask in hopes of receiving. Then (in my mind again) I say thank you. It is good to show gratitude. Of course, you can always ask for what you want out loud, but for me personally I like to do it in my head. This is because it is done fast enough to not let any doubts or negative feelings come up while I am asking for what I want, but it is slow enough for me to center myself and really focus on my intention. It is also my favorite method because and I don’t have to stop what I was just in the middle of doing, since sometimes I can’t, and I know that I’ll totally forget if I try to come back to doing my intention later.

That’s it. After that, I simply move on with my day, knowing that I have harnessed the power of Intention and done my work. Now all I have to do is wait for it to come back to me- and it always does. I always feel like it is so miraculous every time, but it always consistent. Be sure to be very thankful when your intention comes back to you.

I don’t always use this method to harness the power of intention. Sometimes I meditate for longer periods of time to really focus on something or multiple things that I would like to bring into (or extract from) my life. The hard part about longer meditation is to not try to figure out how you are going to get from where you are now to where you would like to be. That is the Universe’s job. When I meditate for the purpose of manifesting my desires, I like to use one of Deepak Chopra’s meditation guides. If you don’t know who Deepak Chopra is, then definitely check out his books. I have read a few of them myself and now I have the rest of his books lined up to read next! I find his words very inspiring and eye-opening and I always grow as a person from reading them. Here is one of his meditation methods to harness the power of Intention:

1. Slip into the gap.

Most of the time our mind is caught up in thoughts, emotions, and memories. Beyond this noisy internal dialogue is a state of pure awareness that is sometimes referred to as “the gap.” One of the most effective tools we have for entering the gap is meditation. Meditation takes you beyond the ego-mind into the silence and stillness of pure consciousness. This is the ideal state in which to plant your seeds of intention

2. Release your intentions and desires

Once you’re established in a state of restful awareness, release your intentions and desires. The best time to plant your intentions is during the period after meditation, while your awareness remains centered in the quiet field of all possibilities. After you set an intention, let it go — simply stop thinking about it. Continue this process for a few minutes after your meditation period each day.

3. Remain centered in a state of restful awareness
.

Intention is much more powerful when it comes from a place of contentment than if it arises from a sense of lack or need. Stay centered and refuse to be influenced by other people’s doubts or criticisms. Your higher self knows that everything is all right and will be all right, even without knowing the timing or the details of what will happen.

4. Detach from the outcome
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Relinquish your rigid attachment to a specific result and live in the wisdom of uncertainty. Attachment is based on fear and insecurity, while detachment is based on the unquestioning belief in the power of your true Self. Intend for everything to work out as it should, then let go and allow opportunities and openings to come your way.

5. Let the universe handle the details
.

Your focused intentions set the infinite organizing power of the universe in motion. Trust that infinite organizing power to orchestrate the complete fulfillment of your desires. Don’t listen to the voice that says that you have to be in charge, that obsessive vigilance is the only way to get anything done. The outcome that you try so hard to force may not be as good for you as the one that comes naturally. You have released your intentions into the fertile ground of pure potentiality, and they will bloom when the season is right.

Don’t expect it all to work right away. For example, if you used Intention to bring more happiness to yourself on a daily basis, don’t wake up the next morning frustrated that it didn’t work. It will come back to you when the time is right. Just let it go and be patient.

Start today. Keep your mind open to what you want, and practice simply asking for it with no worries. It takes some practice to harness the power of Intention, but with time you will be astounded with the wonders it can do for your life.

To living your best life,

-Alex