happiness

Get Happy With…Happy Food!

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Welcome to the first edition of the new “Get Happy With…” series!

In these articles, we’ll analyze a bunch of ideas, both new and old, to see what kind of positive impact they can have on your life. Each of these happiness ideas and methods have cumulative effects, meaning that if done only once, you probably won’t get much benefit out of it. BUT if you do it on a regular basis and get into the habit of doing it, then you will see a huge overall positive surge of benefits! By putting these articles into action, you will see a large cumulative increase in your baseline happiness level (explained below). In this post, we are talking about Happy Food! Enjoy 🙂

What is this ‘Happy Food’ I keep mentioning?

Happy food is food that you can eat to help you have a higher baseline happiness level every day. Your baseline happiness level is determined by your typical daily mood. Answer this:

How happy do you usually feel from day to day on a scale of 1-10 (ten being the highest mood)?

Whatever number you chose, that is your baseline happiness level – the mood that you operate in most of the time. Now, it may not be where you want it to be and I’m sure that everybody would like it to be higher :). But how? This is where Happy Food comes in! When you eat Happy Food, each ingredient works hard to promote physical and mental health in your body, which in turn boosts your mood. When this type of food is eaten on a daily basis, your mood is also boosted daily, raising your baseline happiness level to new heights!

Here’s an excerpt from my upcoming book, The Truth About High School, about Happy Food:

 You’ve heard the saying, “You are what you eat.” According to Deadly Vibe (issue 205), “Every day an average adult loses – wait for it – 300 billion cells and the body has to replace them from the nutrients we receive. So, yes, in a sense, we are quite literally what we eat”. By eating better, you can live better.

It turns out that the food you put into your body directly affects your mood. This is big. It is such a simple fact that everyone seems to overlook because of all the hype with diets. What people should really be doing is eating for happiness and overall health. The next time you are trying to decide what to eat, rather than ask yourself, “What do I feel like eating?”, instead ask, “how do I want to feel after this meal?”.  This is a much better and easier way to go about eating food that is good for you and that you will also enjoy. Life is too short to be on awful diets and to eat awful-tasting ‘health’ foods… but it is also too short to always be eating junk food too. Eating junk food is exactly that: putting junk into your body. If you put junk into your body, do you think that you are going to feel great after eating it? Probably not. Why? Because you can’t get quality out of something that is junk. Eating tons of junk food all the time will literally shorten your life and you will very likely become sick in your (somewhat) old age because your body needs real, quality, and healthy food to function at its best. If the body can’t be at its best, then you can’t either and as a result, you will have more health and happiness problems. So eat happy food and ask yourself the right question before eating: “How do I want to feel after this meal?”. Of course, the food you eat isn’t the only thing that affects your mood, but it is a big one and it is constantly overlooked.

So all of this lofty non-actionable stuff I’ve written so far is nice, but I’m sure you’re wondering what the actual food behind this ‘Happy Food’ phenomenon is. Well, you have come to the right place! While I am not going to go into detail YET about why these foods are considered ‘happy food’ (these explanations will come in future posts), I will name some. Ok here it goes: Meat and fish, vegetables and legumes, and fruits and nuts/seeds. BUT The meat must be quality, organic, grass-fed, and local (I’ll explain why in another post soon but this is really important!). The vegetables, nuts, and fruit must be organic as well or from your own garden. The fish is best if it was wild, or caught by you. Why do I say all this? Am I some kind of health freak?

Nope!

But I have done my research. I could care less about organic except that in general, in non-organic meat and other produce, there are a lot of bad things done to the food to make it grow faster, bigger, and cheaper (understandably for higher profit margins). In organic produce, they do this as well, but they do it more naturally and they use healthier products to achieve these results. It is pretty obvious that pesticides, antibiotics, and growth hormones are not good for you to consume on a regular basis like this, even though many people do. Even though we eat small amounts of them, eating these damaging things does add up and it ultimately has a negative cumulative effect on the body and mind.

But just because a lot of people do it doesn’t mean that it is right, healthy, or the best for you personally. Do you remember being a kid trying to use the ‘but everyone else is doing/did it’ and your parents responding to you with, “Well, if everyone else jumped off a bridge would you do it too?”. Same thing here. Of course the correct response is, “Well how high is the bridge?” :). And that is something you have to ask yourself here as well. How high are the stakes I’m up against? How much risk is involved if I continue to do what everyone else is doing? What evidence do I have to change my ways and is the alternative worth it to me?

These answers only come with careful consideration and research. Your own research. It all really just comes down to your own values. Just because something is right for someone else doesn’t mean it is right for you. Happy Food is right for me and so I like to promote it because I think that it can help others as well… especially because many people don’t really know what is going on behind the scenes in much of the food industry, or they intentionally ignore it because they would just rather not know and continue eating the same things. The problem is that there are bad consequences for people who aren’t careful, such as inflammation in the body, health problems later on in life, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, etc. Many health problems are linked directly to diet – so the type of food and the quality of the food you are consuming is of utmost importance. Your first wealth is health.

I’ll be posting more detailed articles in the future about specific foods and why they are considered ‘Happy Food’, along with information about the food industry that they don’t want us to know. It is time to get healthy! It is time to face what we all have been ignoring to some degree as a society… real, quality, healthy, food. By eating Happy Food, we can not only ignite our passion for optimal lifestyle health, but we will also find ourselves at a higher baseline happiness level as well. It really is a win-win! Stay tuned for future info…

🙂

To living your healthiest life,

-Alex

ps: If you liked this post, share it with someone who would find value in it! Let’s help each other become our happiest, healthiest, and wealthiest. 🙂

pps: If you want to learn more about real, healthy, and quality food, then here are some options:

  • Read Real Food by Nina Planck – She talks all about the benefits of real food and the dangers of industrial foods, all of which she backs by valid scientific research, history, and and experience.
  • Watch Food Inc. – This is a great documentary about the food industry and a little peak into what is really going on behind the grocery shelves.
  • Research on Google Scholar – Google Scholar is a place to find scientific studies and research done for any topic. Just type “google scholar” into Google and then search for what you want. BUT A WARNING: Be careful to check who sponsors each study. Many large organizations, such as big companies, the government, political parties, etc. sponsor studies and make sure that the studies get specific results in their favor. Yep, that’s a thing.
  • Follow @lifetools_official on Instagram – I post a lot of information about healthy food on there and it is another resource that I know you will find value in.

:) How to Literally Smile Your Way Out of Negative Feelings & The Art of Body Language (w/ Pictures & Examples)

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Smile! It’s Friday 🙂

How often do you find yourself smiling? Next time you feel grumpy, stressed, or down, try forcing yourself to smile for 3 minutes. Doing this will noticeably increase your mood and your happiness.

On a more scientific level, what happens is this: When you smile, you are changing your physiology by partaking in positive body language. It turns out that your physiology directly affects your psychology (brain, thoughts, mood, etc.) and therefore, the positive body language of smiling sends messages to your brain that are in direct contradiction to your unhappy feelings. The reason to smile for a consecutive 3 minutes is to continue to strengthen this process happening in your brain until your negativity is overridden. 🙂

To double the strength of this exercise, smile for 3 minutes in front of a mirror. By doing this, we are activating one of our powerful senses: sight. When others smile at you, it brings on feelings of openness, warmth, and a greater sense of happiness. It is also very easy to smile back. By using a mirror, you are recieving all of these benefits from yourself while compounding your own efforts to efficiently boost your mood. So smile more, and enjoy a higher quality & more relaxing life! Oh and remember to spread the love and smile at other people too!!

To triple the strength of this exercise, practice more forms of positive body language while smiling. The more the merrier. Here are some examples of positive body language (these are all just free stock photos I found on the internet for examples):

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The boy in this photo has excellent positive body language going on. This particular pose (with both hands up in a “victory” type of stance) is scientifically proclaimed to be embedded in our subconscious brain as an action we do when we succeed at something great, or just feel really good.

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Great one to do while smiling at yourself in the mirror for 3 minutes straight like a crazy person. Might as well look even crazier, right? 🙂 This one will make you feel more important and more self-confident, but it only works in front of the mirror or if someone else is doing this action to you. 

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Hands on the hips helps you keep a good overall posture, regardless of whether you are standing or sitting during this exercise. Good posture is also good body language and therefore it will help you feel happier as well. 

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Arms outstretched and open to the world. Opens up your body and lungs to take deeper breaths (which is good for you, and is a topic for another post someday) and this pose helps you feel more relaxed thankful. 

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Hands on the head is a good one to feel more relaxed as well, along with more confident. 

 

 

Hre Are some examples of body language that leads to unhappy feelings (and what NOT to do during the smiling exercise):

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Curled up and closed off. This will make you feel worse than you already do if you are in a state of negativity. Bad.

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Bad posture, hunched over, looking down, not smiling, and looking small in the way that he is sitting – which in turn, of course, makes you feel smaller as well. Also bad.

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Better, as she is smiling, but crossed arms is a sign of defensive behavior and closing off from interaction. Unless you are cold, doing this pose is just going to make you feel more insecure and defensive toward others instead of open and relaxed. 

As you can see, smiling and positive body language is really important to your general happiness. Notice yourself slumping in your chair, or looking down a lot? Those types of body language poses will not help you feel better. Luckily, the body language you use everyday can be changed. It is just a bad habit, so all you need to do is change your habits and replace your bad body language habit with a good one! My Article on changing habits can help you with this.

So smile more and share this article with anyone you think would find value in it! The more we can get people to smile, the happier this world will be as a whole 🙂

 

To your highest quality life,

– Alex

How Are You Really Doing? A Personal Check In:

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Today’s blog post is a little different. I want to know how you are doing. And the usual “I’m good” isn’t going to cut it this time! I want to know how you are really doing. Do you know how you are really doing?

The best way to find out is with a personal check-in. It is a list of simple questions that will give you a general idea of how you are doing. When done monthly, you will notice patterns, your baseline happiness level, and you will learn a lot about yourself. If you write down your answers to these questions each month, you will have some great data about yourself that you can then analyze to help you live your best life and become your best self. Just ten minutes each month can tell you so much! Let’s do this!

During the past month, (on a scale of 1-10) how often did you feel…

Happy

Interested in life

Satisfied

That you had something important to contribute to society

That you belong to a community

That our society is becoming a better place for people?

That people are generally good

That the way our society works makes sense to you

That you liked most parts of your personality

Good at managing the responsibilities of daily life

That you had warm and trusting relationships with others

That you have experiences that challenge you to grow and become a better person

Confident to think of or express your own ideas and opinions

That your life has a sense of direction or meaning to it?

Two More questions:

When was the last time you felt really alive, and what were you doing?

What are 5 activities, pleasures, or events that will make you feel even more alive- right now this month?

That’s it. Great job! Return to these questions monthly for the best results. You might find that it has been a while since you felt really good. If that is the case then it is time to revisit happiness! Or maybe you realize that you are happier than ever right now. That’s awesome :)! Feel free to leave your answers in the comments if you would like. Just like I said in my Big Talk post, I would love to hear how you are really doing. The more we care about others, the better this world will be.

 

To living your best life,

– Alex 🙂

What is happiness? Are You Happy?

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Here is a picture of me looking happy. Truth is that when this photo was taken, I had been fighting depression for about 7 months. I was feeling particularly down that day because I felt like I was making little progress toward defeating depression. It took me a while, but I did end up getting out of depression for good (and 100% naturally) by mid 2013. I can confidently say that I will never fall back into depression again. 🙂

This is an excerpt from my upcoming book, The Truth About High School. Although I wrote this book for people in high school, there is a lot of valuable information in the book for anyone of any age. So without further ado, let’s get into it! 🙂

…What is happiness and are you happy?

Happiness is an “inside job” many people say. Which is true, of course. You don’t find lasting happiness in objects, places, or tons of friends. It all must start with you. Happiness is the end result of having positive emotions like inner peace, love, compassion, joy, etc. You come to these emotions by doing what fulfills you, what excites you, and what you are passionate about. You also can get these emotions from spending time with the people who are closest to you and who you really care about. These are the ones who will always be there for you no matter what. Who are these people in your life?

If you are unhappy or constantly negative it is time to reconnect with your happy and positive side. The happy life is one where positive emotions dominate. So by simply enhancing positive emotions, or experiencing them more frequently, you can become a happier person. BUT you need to get these frequent positive emotions through the things and people that fulfill you, or your happiness will be short lived and inauthentic.

Even life circumstances only contribute about 10% to your life’s happiness. This includes getting what you want in life, such as becoming a billionaire or getting married. So if getting what you want doesn’t give you that much lasting happiness, then what does? The answer: appreciating what you really have and being happy within yourself. If you want to be truly happy, a major part of happiness is gratitude and positivity. The happiest people:

  • feel and express gratitude even during tough times in life
  • stay in the moment as much as possible
  • enjoy the simple pleasures of life
  • don’t let unavoidable ups and downs disturb their inner peace

How happy are you? Stop right now and seriously ask yourself this question. If you aren’t sure how happy you are, don’t worry. Happiness is pretty tough to measure. It may help to rate your happiness level on a scale of 1 to 10. Try out this set of questions that can also help you determine how happy you are.

1. In general, I am:

Not happy 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Very Happy

2. Compared to others, I am:

Less happy 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 More Happy

3. Some people are generally happy regardless of what’s happening in life. To what extent does this describe you?   

Not at all 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Totally

4. Some people are generally not very happy. Although they aren’t depressed, they never seem to be as happy as they could be. To what extent does this describe you?

Not at all 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Totally

5. I smile:

Hardly ever 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Very often

If you look at the numbers you circled, it will give you a very broad understanding of your happiness level. You could always average these numbers too if you want another way to look at it.

If you got a low score on these questions, then you may be depressed. Take this quiz to find out. This quiz was created by Carol Landau, who has a Ph.D. in Depression. I don’t know if I would have ever realized that I was depressed or gotten out of depression if I hadn’t stumbled upon this quiz during my sophomore year of high school. I wanted to include it in this book because I hope that it helps you like it helped me. Even if it only helps one person, I’ll be happy. So let’s take the quiz!

To be diagnosed with depression, you have to feel extremely sad or have lost interest in life, and you must experience 4 out of the 7 following symptoms every day and for at least two consecutive weeks:

– Increase or decrease in weight or appetite without conscious dieting

– Insomnia or excessive sleepiness

– Agitation or lethargy and difficulty getting out of bed

– Loss of energy and fatigue nearly every day

– Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt

– Difficulties concentrating, thinking or making decisions

– Recurrent thoughts of suicide.

Scientifically, if your mood is constant and lasts more than two weeks, that’s a sign that you might be slipping into depression.

According to Lifescript, which operates the leading website for healthy living, more warning signs for depression include:

  • Loss of interest in things you once enjoyed
  • Sleep problems
  • Appetite changes
  • Lack of energy
  • Feelings of worthlessness or self blame
  • Trouble concentrating or making decisions
  • Thoughts of suicide

Now, there is a difference between grief and depression. Mourning the death of someone close to you is an exception to the two-week rule. For the first month or two, it is typical to have symptoms similar to depression, such as unrelenting sadness, frequent crying, trouble sleeping, poor appetite, and weight loss. But if it continues for longer than this, with no signs of improvement, then the grieving may have turned into depression.

If you are depressed, or if you would like to know more about depression, don’t wait to get help. Your condition will only get worse. But be careful when getting help. It always amazes me how many people think they know what depression is, and that they can solve it for others when they haven’t even been through it themselves! If they haven’t gone through it personally, then they don’t understand. I promise you this. I learned this the hard way when I was getting out of depression myself. If you think you are depressed, even if you aren’t completely sure, please please please do not wait. It is important to take action and start getting out of depression as soon as possible. The sooner you realize it, the sooner you can get out of it!

Trust me, I have been there. It is a dark place, and it is very difficult to see the light. But when you get a glimpse of light, hold onto it and don’t let it go. Build on it until there is no more darkness. You can do it! If I can do it, then you can too. I believe in you. I know that you have what it takes to be happy again and to get out of depression for good. And, strangely enough, once you have completely overcome the challenge of depression for good, never to fall back into it again… your past depression becomes a gift. How? That is a discussion for another book which I am currently writing, so stay tuned. 🙂

If you would like to be happier, you must take time to consistently develop your inner qualities. Every minute you have a choice of where you focus your attention. The more you relax, try your best, and allow life to unfold, the more you will get out of life and the happier you will be. When your mind starts spiraling into negativity, stop yourself. The more you do this, the easier it will be and the more control you will have over your own thoughts. Eventually, you will be able to decide what you want to think about and what thoughts you want to let pass through your mind. Notice the good things in life. Pay attention to the positive things and be an optimist. Understand what makes you happy, and appreciate yourself. Choose to be happy!

“As long as there is a lack of the inner discipline that brings calmness of mind, external facilities or conditions will never give you the feeling of joy and happiness that you are seeking. On the other hand, if you possess this inner quality, a calmness of mind, a degree of stability within, then even if you lack various external facilities that you would normally consider necessary for happiness, it is still possible to live a happy and joyful life. Achieving a genuine sense of happiness may require bringing about a transformation in your outlook, your way of thinking, and this is not a simple matter. In taking care of your physical body, you need a variety of vitamins and nutrients, not just one or two. In the same way, in order to achieve happiness, you need a variety of approaches and methods to deal with and overcome the varied and complex negative mental states… It is not possible to accomplish that simply by adopting a particular thought or practicing a technique once or twice. Change takes time.”

–Dalai Lama

So, what about you…

How happy are you?

Did you just find out that you are depressed?

Do you have a success story?

Feel free to share in the comments. We are a community here and we support each other. 🙂

To your greatest happiness,

-Alex 🙂

Odds & Ends:

  • There is now an Instagram page for this blog’s lifestyle! If you would like to  surround yourself with happy, healthy, and wealthy aspects of your dream life then don’t hesitate to follow @lifetools_official  I promise it will be worth it! 🙂
  • If any of you would like to contact me directly there are two ways:
    • One: Leave a comment on this blog. I will see it 🙂
    • Two: Contact me via Instagram: @lifetools_official . 

I Did.

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Think about it.

In the moment of your death, your life will flash before your eyes. Looking back through your life, will you say, “I wish I had…” or will you say, “I did!”?

I imagine that you want to be able to look back and feel a sense of wholeness when you reflect. You want to know that you lived your life to the fullest and you did the things you wanted to do in life, and you impacted the world and others in a positive way.

Working backward from your last day on Earth is a great way to realize what is important to you in life, and what you should focus your time and energy on. Your life is whatever you want it to be. It is an interesting story. When it starts to feel boring and dull, it means that you are not living your dreams. You are living according to someone else, not yourself. When life gets complicated, it is simply because you haven’t taken enough time to thoroughly look at your life, your current situation, your past habits and beliefs, and your inner self. When you live according to anyone but yourself, be it society’s whims, another person, and institute, etc. you are not living your true life of passion.

So how do you get back to living your dream life? How do you stop living a boring, monotonous life? How do you free yourself from the habits of the past and begin on your path toward personal freedom? It’s quite simple, actually. You just have to put your dreams first. Don’t let your other obligations get in the way all the time. Put aside some time every day to work on your dreams, and guard this time relentlessly. This is your time to get you where you want to be in life, whether that is spending more time each day with your kids, becoming financially free, going on a vacation to Thailand each year, having a better sex life and relationship with your spouse, meditating for 20 minutes each day, etc. Don’t let yourself become distracted with other things during this amount of time that you set aside for dreams. Take this time to grow and work on creating your dream life until it is a reality.

Living how you are ‘supposed to’ according to everyone else is not necessarily the way that you want to live. We are individuals. We are not ‘one size fits all’. We are unique and what is right for one person is not right for another. This is why your dreams have to come first. If you don’t make them top priority, then society and others will continue to dictate how you live your life. If you let anyone else other than your inner self rule your life, then you will most likely never do the things you have always wanted to. You will never get to feel that major sense of inner peace and freedom you have when living your best life. You are the only one who can make your dream life come true. You must take your dreams by the hand and make sure that you are truly giving all you can to make them a reality.

You will reach all you want if you can just simply put your dreams first, be patient as you work on them, and know that they will all come to you just the way they are supposed to. You may not end up exactly where you imagined you would be, and you will take some interesting turns and detours to get there, but you will eventually reach your best life. It will be your amazing life; no one else’s. Simply your life, your freedom, your lifestyle, and your true happiness.

Instead of always wishing to do something, cut out the excuses – make it happen and be able to say, “I did!”

To living your best life,

-Alex

Three Little Questions

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Today is a short post. It is just a simple exercise created by the Dalai Lama that can be done in less than five minutes, but the results are big. The beauty is in the simplicity of this exercise. Try it out for yourself 🙂 :

Dalai Lama’s simple exercise for happiness:

Answer for yourself these three questions:

  • Are you having a good day?
  •  Why?
  • Tomorrow, would you rather have a good day or a bad day?

That’s all!

The simplicity of this exercise is deceiving. It is so simple that most people will not even try it, and they will miss the benefits of the results. The most powerful part of this exercise is asking the question, ‘why?’. By asking yourself why you are having a good or bad day, you can objectively look at what you are doing to bring yourself happiness and peace, or unhappiness and stress. This exercise can be used as a guide to help you determine what you need for a happy, healthy, and wealthy life. It will help you understand what you need in your life, and also show you where your life is out of balance.

Living your dreams really can be as simple as asking the right questions, and then following through with your answers through your actions. If you would like to stop living a mediocre life, then this is another step toward a better tomorrow, or even a better rest of the day.

Imagine if you did this exercise once per week and wrote down your answers each time. You would learn so much about yourself and what happiness is to you. After a year, you would have 52 answers about why you were happy or unhappy on one particular day each week for the entire year! That’s some good data on yourself that could be used to find patterns and bad habits causing unhappiness. At the same time, you will be able to see patterns and habits that bring more personal happiness into your life.

So what about the answers you came up with today? What are they telling you about your current lifestyle? Habits? Yourself? Based on your answers from the exercise, what can you change, add, or subtract to bring more happiness into your life?

 

To living your best life and being your best self,

-Alex 🙂

What Would You Do?

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Last year I was part of a network marketing company.  There was one thing I really liked about the company’s procedures which really stood out. Whenever we talked to a new person to who was considering joining the company, we would first ask them:

“If time or money were not an issue, what would you do?”

People’s answers said a lot about them and their deeper wants, needs, or aspirations in life (or whether they had given it much thought at all). Whether I knew the person or not, asking this question was like turning on a flashlight in a dark room. I suddenly understood the person a lot better, and I felt like I could see a little bit of their true selves shining through. It made me feel like I was Kalina Silverman in the “Big Talk: Before I Die…” video.

Here are some of the answers I received:

#1. Insurance broker, male

“If time or money were not an issue, I would explore the world, because there is so much out there to see and experience. I would also buy back my family’s farm and have friends and family over often.”

#2. Recent CSU Chico college graduate, female

“If time or money was not an issue, I would like to help others in need.”

#3. Sophomore in community college, male

“If time or money were not an issue, I would Become a model. I would also be a machinist. I would also be a video photographer for film. I would also be a data analyzer for a company.”

#4. College freshman, female

“If money wasn’t an issue I would pay off school and housing before anything so that my parents wouldn’t be stressed out about getting it paid every month. Once that was taken care of as well as my family, I would give back. I would give back to my community and school and anyone else that was in need or anyone that ever helped me. I really wish money wasn’t an issue but unfortunately it is although I know one day it won’t be.”

#5. CSU Chico college freshman, female

“If time or money where not an issue for me, I would definitely dedicate my time to travel around the world. This is because, first of all, I love to travel, and another reason is that i love getting to know more about the individuality of every culture. In this scenario I would also take advantage that I am in different parts of the world to learn more languages. I would also dedicate myself to working out more often – and by working out i mean playing basketball. I love to play basketball. I have played since i was 6 years old and have continued to play until this year which is my freshman year at Chico State University. I would also like to travel with my fiancé.”

#6. High School Senior, male 

“If Time or money were not an issue I would be an artist- like drawing or writing. Probably mostly a writer of novels. I really enjoy it and I have realized lately that I like it. I would also go on a cross country road trip.”

#7. College Freshman, Baseball player, male

“I would hang out mostly- I probably wouldn’t do too much. I would also get a house so that I would have a place to live, and I’d also get my parents a house. I don’t really know what else.”

#8. High School Senior, female

“If time or money were not an issue, I would use it to do things that I have always wanted to do, such as travel around to certain places, and do more volunteer work at certain places and all around.”

#9. UC Santa Barbara, college freshman, female

“If time or money were not an issue, I would be a professional dancer, and I would spend every day hiking and doing stuff outside.”

#10. Father and husband from Twin Falls, Idaho 

“If time and money were not an issue, I would definitely spend as much time with my wife and kids, taking them wherever they want and watching them all grow up right before my eyes, cherishing every moment.”

#11 Community college student

“If time or money were not an issue, I’d probably be traveling. Where? All over Europe, Austrailia, places I’ve never been. I’d want to go with my mom. We get great deals too because she’s a flight attendant.  I’d also be buying cool cars, stuff like that. I’m a Ferrari guy.” 

Do you think that these people should go for their dreams?

“Of course!” you say.

But what about you? Should you go after your dreams? Why are you so hesitant to say yes for yourself, while you are so quick to say yes for others? You know yourself better than you know them, so why do you believe in their abilities while doubting your own?

Fear. We get inside our own heads. The root of your procrastination, doubts, and complaints (including convincing yourself that your dreams will never happen) are due to deeply rooted fear. Fear has been said to stand for “False Evidence Appearing Real” and I tend to agree with this definition. Most of the time, fear is unwarranted. You have to keep in mind that you are the only one who can make your dream life become a reality. No one else is going to do it for you. There are enough people and institutions trying to limit you already, so don’t willingly enslave yourself to your own fears. It is time to put your fears aside and Take The Leap into the unknown.

So, what about you?  If time or money were not an issue, what would you do?

Take your time imagining exactly what you would do, then write down your answer. With the right mindset, you are already halfway there.

To living your dreams,

-Alex 🙂

Stop Living a Mediocre Life!

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What exactly is a mediocre life? Well, you could define it like this: A mediocre life is your style of living (made up of habits, actions, people, thoughts, responsibilities, etc.) that you have settled for, which is not up to your hopes or standards and gives you feelings of boredom, monotony, and a fixed mindset.

If you feel like your life is boring, pointless, just the same as everyone else’s, monotonous, or just not that great, then you are living a mediocre life. You are more than what you are settling for. Now, if you know what you are worth then go out and get it! You are attracting your mediocrity because you subconsciously believe that it is all you can do, and that this is the best life you are able to live. But deep down, there are desires and talents that must come out! You can live an amazing life. You can be all that you want. You are the one. You are powerful. You are here on this earth at this time in this form as you, to do all that you would like to do, and be all that you would like to be.

It is time to stop living a mediocre life! Don’t wait until next week, or next month, or even tomorrow. It stops today! It’s time to get up and do something about it! Don’t have time? Make time. If you don’t have time to do something that is this important, then you don’t have your priorities in order. This is your life. You only get one. There is no excuse. It is time to change. It is time to become satisfied and proud of yourself and the life you are living. Are you ready? Doing this is much simpler than you might think. Here is what you need to do:

First, carve out some time for yourself. Maybe a Saturday morning, or a Tuesday afternoon. Whenever you can get a good chunk of time alone to just be with yourself and not be interrupted. Get a pen and paper. Ask yourself these questions below. Write your answers on the paper.

  1. Why do I consider my life to be mediocre? Be as specific and detailed as possible.
  2. What exactly is holding me back and keeping me here living this mediocre style of life? 
  3. How can I change each situation listed above so that I can live the life I desire? Write down 3 actionable steps for each.
  4. What habits do I have that are keeping me away from being a better person and enjoying a better life?
  5. How can I change these habits into something that will benefit me and my life? (See previous post Living From Intentional Habits (Or: Killing Bad Habits and Monotonous Routines) to help you with this step.)
  6. What exactly do I want my life to look like? What is your dream life? Be as specific and detailed as possible.
  7. Why? Why do you want your life to look like your previous description? Why is each of part of your dream important to you? Does it solve a problem? Is it something that you have always wanted? Is it something that you think is really cool? Does each part of your dream life excite you? Be as specific and detailed as possible.
  8. After asking why, is there anything that I need to change about my dream life?
  9. What is the one thing I can do today that will be the best step toward my new dream life, and away from my old mediocre life? What is the most efficient and effective thing you can do today (or right now) to propel you toward your best life?
  10. What can I move around in my schedule so that I can work on this every day until my new life is a reality?

That’s it! It is a simple process, but it is not necessarily easy. Anyone can ask these questions, but it takes a lot of effort and concentrated thinking to find the answers. Most people don’t get this far. They try to answer the questions above and they give up because it is hard. But you know what is harder? Continuing to live a life that does not live up to your dreams and values. Answer the questions and you will know what you must do next. Here are a couple more things to keep in mind:

Believe in yourself! If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will either. You must believe in you. Invest in yourself. Develop your spiritual side. Focus on personal development and connecting with your inner spirit. If you don’t like being alone with yourself, be alone and make peace. Inner peace. It is a way of living, not a destination. Simply know that you are perfect and ready for the world just the way you are. You are important to the world because it only takes one to change the world. If you change your life, you change your world.

Take time to ponder yourself and your life. Meditate and relax. Clear your mind. Reflect. Journal. Visualize the future and other positive visions for greatness. Take time to do this at least once per week. I carve out a few hours one day per week for this. I also spend some time doing these things almost every single day. Specifically, you could set a time, or a reminder.

People who live amazing lives are also amazingly thankful. I have a sticky note up on the wall in my bedroom right next to my bedside table that says, “I am thankful for…”. I purposefully put it in a place that I always look so that I am always thinking of something I am grateful for that can finish the phrase. Most of the time our mediocre life does not come from our situations in our everyday circumstances. Most of the time, it comes from our fears, false beliefs, and fixed mindsets. By taking time for yourself to meditate, think, visualize, etc., your quality of life will improve.

If you want to live an extraordinary life, stop being and doing the ordinary. Do what makes you happy. Do things for you because you decided to and because you want to. Think and act for yourself. Don’t just blindly follow what everyone else is doing. Just because most people do something doesn’t mean that it is the right way or the best way. Most of the time, these people have no idea what they are doing or where they are going. If you find yourself doing the same thing as everyone else, you should probably think about whether it is right for you. If not, no matter how many other people are doing it, you should choose another direction.

If you would like to live a mediocre life, then don’t change and keep doing what you have always been doing. But once you know that you are not living the way you desire, it is difficult to just simply ignore this truth and fade back to your old ways. It has your attention and now that you have noticed, it sticks out like a sore thumb. This is because parts of your life do not line up with your values and dreams. It is time to change! It is time to grow. It is time to become your best version and live an amazing life. No more mediocrity!

To living your best life,

-Alex

The Story of the Starfish

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Today, I wanted to share a story with you. It may be very short and simple, but it is powerful. After you read this post, I advise you to meditate on the story and what it means for you. The best part is that you can use these insights from meditation to take action and incorporate new habits into your daily life. As a result, you will better yourself, your life, and everyone else around you. 🙂

The Story of the Starfish:

A boy went to the beach with his grandfather. When they got there, they saw that thousands and thousands of starfish had been washed up and were now drying out in the sun. The boy started to throw one starfish after the other back into the water. The grandfather said, “Boy, what are you doing? There are so many that it won’t make any difference if you throw a few back.” The boy picked up a starfish and said, “It makes a difference to him.”

You may wonder why you should even try to help others when there will always be more in need. It is true that you may not be able to help everyone, but if you try then you can help a whole lot more people than if you didn’t try. You may feel powerless in the big and overwhelming world, but the truth is just the opposite:

You are powerful beyond belief and you can do whatever you put your mind to.

The boy’s attitude in this story is contagious. If you were the grandpa, would you not feel more inclined and inspired to help throw the starfish back into the water?  Likewise, if you saw someone helping a stranger, would you not feel more motivated to help someone too? This energy is contagious in people and it catches on quickly, causing something of an exponential effect, yet it only takes one person to start it.

Helping others in a way that you feel you can really contribute is one of the most fulfilling things you can do. Many people have enjoyment in their lives, but they lack fulfillment. No matter how few people you help, it is always worth it.

To the world, you may be just one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

This is just a little snippet on the way I interpreted it, but it definitely isn’t the only way! It is now time to take a look at your own life and decide what this story means for you.  I would love to know what your insights are, so feel free to comment your thoughts below. 🙂

To living a fulfilled life,

Alex

Take The Leap

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Kjerag_BASE_jumping.jpg

For many of us, living our dream lives it is not a question of what we want- many of us already know the answer to that. It is more of a question as to whether or not we can believe in ourselves enough to do it. It’s all in our mindset. While we can live a lifestyle of living our best life every day, there are certain things that we might visualize ourselves doing in our dream lives which we are not doing at the moment.

When we think of what our best lives look like, many of us have some kind of big goal or dream that we have been putting off for a long time. These goals are probably crying out for attention. We really want to do it, and it causes us some stress that we haven’t done it yet, since we have been meaning to for so long. We also know that our dream life is not complete without attempting this pending dream that we have. Many people are scared to do what they know they need to do to live their best and most fulfilling life.

It is like if you are standing right at the ledge on top of a cliff, and everything you ever wanted was at the bottom of the cliff. There is no other way down but to jump. But you are afraid. What if something goes wrong? What if it hurts to land? It is hard to see everything at the bottom of the cliff clearly. What if it is not that great after all? How is this going to work out? You aren’t sure, so you try to find out for yourself. You read books all about the cliff. You ask others what they think. But you know that your questions and worries will only be answered if you jump. You are scared. All of this research took time, but ultimately, it is all up to you to find out. And now you are standing on the ledge, looking down. You can see all that you want below. You are so close that you can almost touch it! You really want it! And even though you are afraid of the unknown, you know what you have to do. You have to take the jump. You worry; you try to find an alternative to what you want. But deep down you know that the only way is to take the leap. Finally one day, you say enough is enough. No matter what, I am ready to go after what I want. You grab your parachute, shut your eyes tightly, and you jump off the cliff.

Usually, it is fear of the unknown that holds us back the most. Once you have jumped off the cliff, you will realize that you wasted a lot of time worrying and avoiding the cliff. Had you just jumped in the first place without over thinking, you would have been where you wanted to be a lot sooner, and saved your body, mind, and spirit a lot of stress. Procrastination, worry, doubt, and fear quickly lead to self doubt and unrest.

The leap is the unknown- the space between where you are and where you want to be in a goal. It is what everyone is so worried about before they jump. People get so focused on the process and the unknown that they forget to look at the results. They forget about what is at the bottom if they can just simply jump. Of course it is scary. Of course there will be things that you don’t know or don’t understand – you have never done it before! But once you take the leap, you are in motion. You are moving toward your goals and more into your dream life.

As you fall, you gain speed. You can see the ground getting closer and closer. Now you know that you are going to make it! The closer you get, the more you can see below. It looks similar to what you saw at the top of the cliff, but now you can see that there is way more here than you ever dreamed of having.

The process on the way down the cliff is not neccesarily an easy one. There are a lot of emotional and mental ups and downs, just like a roller coaster. But as long as you continue working patiently and persistently toward your goal, you will end up where you want to be. You just have to trust in yourself, and remind yourself that even if your goal or dream doesn’t work out the way you planned, it is better to try than to never know. It is never too late to change. You will always end up where you are meant to be.

And finally, you land. Now that you are on the ground you not only have a different perspective on everything you ever wanted, but also have a different perspective on life and on the cliff. Suddenly others are asking you what jumping from the cliff is like, trying to muster up their own courage to do it themselves. Although you went through good and bad times while you were falling down the cliff, the process was unique, beautiful, and so worth it. At the top of the cliff you had been living a happy and healthy life. Now you have your dream accomplished to enrich and enhance your life that much more.

Living your dream life is not just about living your happiest and healthiest life. It is also about realizing your dreams and making them a reality. These goals and dreams are just as important as being happy and healthy- in fact, they tie right in. If there is something that you have been really wanting to do in your life for a long time, it is time to take the leap. It is time to just do it. Jumping is the hardest part.

“An object at rest stays at rest, and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.” – Newton’s first law of motion, also referred to as the law of inertia.

Take a minute to stop everything you are doing and really search your soul. When you look at what you want your life to look like, what do you see there that isn’t in your life right now? What dream or goal do you have that you have been putting off? If you have more than one goal, choose the one you want the most, or the one that has been put off the longest.

This is your work now. Don’t put it off any longer. Put aside your fears; they are never going to subside unless you take action. Just take the leap.

To living your best life and being your best self,

-Alex