Personal Power

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Hi guys! I wrote this article to get back the basic fundamentals of life. Everything starts with you and it all comes down to you. This sounds really heavy, but really all it means is that you have the power to change and create anything – which is AMAZING! So one of the best things you can do is work on yourself and on how you can improve. So why not start with your own personal power?

Personal power is when you give yourself permission to listen to your inner self and let your decisions come from this place. If you are making decisions from your inner self, you know deep down that you will always be okay. You can trust yourself to make good decisions and choices, and you have a healthy sense of self-worth. You know that although life may not always be easy, you are on your path as long as you give yourself this personal power. Generally, people with personal power have confidence and good self esteem. They take responsibility for their own problems and they do not rely on others’ opinions or decisions to solve them. They trust themselves.

Without personal power, you are not connected with your inner self and therefore, you feel uncentered. You don’t trust your own judgement, so you rely on what others think and use that to make decisions and choices. Since you depend on what others think to make decisions, you base your self-worth on what others think of you and their opinions. You don’t listen to your heart. You play small and you don’t follow your dreams because you believe that they aren’t attainable. You let life push you around instead of deciding for yourself how life is going to be. Most people who do not give themselves personal power feel insecure, worried, anxious, or depressed. They might even blame others for their problems (we have all known at least one person who does this) and they have trouble solving problems.

So how is your personal power? Here is an exercise to find out:

Do you feel anxious when someone doesn’t agree with you?

Do you agree with people even when you feel they’re wrong?

Is it hard for you to say no when people ask you to do something you really don’t want to do?

Do you need other people’s approval in order to be happy?

Do you say things you don’t mean to try to make people like you?

If you answered yes to 3 or more of these questions, you might want to think about how much control you have over your life, and how much you are listening to your inner self.

“If we don’t trust ourselves, then how can we trust anything else that we are doing or anyone else we know? Trust yourself.”

We all know that you can’t please everyone, so don’t expect approval all the time. You are free to have your own way and your own opinion no matter what others think. Most people who struggle to have personal power don’t realize that the root of their unhappiness in this area comes from their unhealthy need for approval by others. If someone criticizes you, do you get down and upset afterward, blaming the other person for what they said and thinking about their harsh words? Or do you realize that it may be your need for approval that’s making you feel bad- not the person or what they said? Don’t judge yourself by how much approval you get from others. Good self-esteem starts with you. It comes from how you feel about yourself, not how others feel about you. You must always look within first. This is how you make good decisions and how you trust yourself. Stop giving your personal power to others! What other people think has nothing to do with you. It does not have an effect on you unless you let it.

But how can you like yourself when you don’t feel good, confident, or trusting of yourself?

Start with self- love. Even if you hate yourself, you can change into someone you love.

What do you like about yourself? List them.

What characteristics and traits would you like to have more of? Less of?

Who do you always feel wonderful being around? Why?

Who are the top three people you look up to? What are the top three characteristics that you like about each of them the most?

 Who do you want to be more like? What do they have that you want to develop?

If you could be the perfect you, what would you be like?

Ok great! Your answers should give you a pretty good idea of the ideal, optimal you. The great news is that you have the power in your hands to change and become this person! You can love yourself and live the life you want. But only you hold this power. No one else can do this for you.

I couldn’t imagine going through life hating myself. I am sure it would be pretty awful, so I think that you have nothing to lose by trying to love yourself. When you hate or dislike yourself, you are your own enemy. When you distrust yourself, you compromise your happiness and enjoyment. You are not living your dream life if this is how you live. In fact, you are not truly living at all.

But you can…

The choice is yours.

 

To your highest personal power,

Alex 🙂

Stop Living a Mediocre Life!

What exactly is a mediocre life? Well, you could define it like this: A mediocre life is your style of living (made up of habits, actions, people, thoughts, responsibilities, etc.) that you have settled for, which is not up to your hopes or standards and gives you feelings of boredom, monotony, and a fixed mindset.

If you feel like your life is boring, pointless, just the same as everyone else’s, monotonous, or just not that great, then you are living a mediocre life. You are more than what you are settling for. Now, if you know what you are worth then go out and get it! You are attracting your mediocrity because you subconsciously believe that it is all you can do, and that this is the best life you are able to live. But deep down, there are desires and talents that must come out! You can live an amazing life. You can be all that you want. You are the one. You are powerful. You are here on this earth at this time in this form as you, to do all that you would like to do, and be all that you would like to be.

It is time to stop living a mediocre life! Don’t wait until next week, or next month, or even tomorrow. It stops today! It’s time to get up and do something about it! Don’t have time? Make time. If you don’t have time to do something that is this important, then you don’t have your priorities in order. This is your life. You only get one. There is no excuse. It is time to change. It is time to become satisfied and proud of yourself and the life you are living. Are you ready? Doing this is much simpler than you might think. Here is what you need to do:

First, carve out some time for yourself. Maybe a Saturday morning, or a Tuesday afternoon. Whenever you can get a good chunk of time alone to just be with yourself and not be interrupted. Get a pen and paper. Ask yourself these questions below. Write your answers on the paper.

  1. Why do I consider my life to be mediocre? Be as specific and detailed as possible.
  2. What exactly is holding me back and keeping me here living this mediocre style of life? 
  3. How can I change each situation listed above so that I can live the life I desire? Write down 3 actionable steps for each.
  4. What habits do I have that are keeping me away from being a better person and enjoying a better life?
  5. How can I change these habits into something that will benefit me and my life? (See previous post Living From Intentional Habits (Or: Killing Bad Habits and Monotonous Routines) to help you with this step.)
  6. What exactly do I want my life to look like? What is your dream life? Be as specific and detailed as possible.
  7. Why? Why do you want your life to look like your previous description? Why is each of part of your dream important to you? Does it solve a problem? Is it something that you have always wanted? Is it something that you think is really cool? Does each part of your dream life excite you? Be as specific and detailed as possible.
  8. After asking why, is there anything that I need to change about my dream life?
  9. What is the one thing I can do today that will be the best step toward my new dream life, and away from my old mediocre life? What is the most efficient and effective thing you can do today (or right now) to propel you toward your best life?
  10. What can I move around in my schedule so that I can work on this every day until my new life is a reality?

That’s it! It is a simple process, but it is not necessarily easy. Anyone can ask these questions, but it takes a lot of effort and concentrated thinking to find the answers. Most people don’t get this far. They try to answer the questions above and they give up because it is hard. But you know what is harder? Continuing to live a life that does not live up to your dreams and values. Answer the questions and you will know what you must do next. Here are a couple more things to keep in mind:

Believe in yourself! If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will either. You must believe in you. Invest in yourself. Develop your spiritual side. Focus on personal development and connecting with your inner spirit. If you don’t like being alone with yourself, be alone and make peace. Inner peace. It is a way of living, not a destination. Simply know that you are perfect and ready for the world just the way you are. You are important to the world because it only takes one to change the world. If you change your life, you change your world.

Take time to ponder yourself and your life. Meditate and relax. Clear your mind. Reflect. Journal. Visualize the future and other positive visions for greatness. Take time to do this at least once per week. I carve out a few hours one day per week for this. I also spend some time doing these things almost every single day. Specifically, you could set a time, or a reminder.

People who live amazing lives are also amazingly thankful. I have a sticky note up on the wall in my bedroom right next to my bedside table that says, “I am thankful for…”. I purposefully put it in a place that I always look so that I am always thinking of something I am grateful for that can finish the phrase. Most of the time our mediocre life does not come from our situations in our everyday circumstances. Most of the time, it comes from our fears, false beliefs, and fixed mindsets. By taking time for yourself to meditate, think, visualize, etc., your quality of life will improve.

If you want to live an extraordinary life, stop being and doing the ordinary. Do what makes you happy. Do things for you because you decided to and because you want to. Think and act for yourself. Don’t just blindly follow what everyone else is doing. Just because most people do something doesn’t mean that it is the right way or the best way. Most of the time, these people have no idea what they are doing or where they are going. If you find yourself doing the same thing as everyone else, you should probably think about whether it is right for you. If not, no matter how many other people are doing it, you should choose another direction.

If you would like to live a mediocre life, then don’t change and keep doing what you have always been doing. But once you know that you are not living the way you desire, it is difficult to just simply ignore this truth and fade back to your old ways. It has your attention and now that you have noticed, it sticks out like a sore thumb. This is because parts of your life do not line up with your values and dreams. It is time to change! It is time to grow. It is time to become your best version and live an amazing life. No more mediocrity!

To living your best life,

-Alex

You Are The Key

 

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“You don’t get out of life what you want, you get out of life who you are.”  -unknown

Your dreams are a direct result of who you are. You must be happy with who you are to be truly happy and truly successful in your life.

The more you are yourself, the better you will understand what you truly want in life and the easier it will be to bring those ideas into your reality. The more you are truly yourself, the more you will be able to make decisions that are in favor of your best life. It is time to become your best self!

“But how?” you might ask, “What is my best self, and how do I even know when I am my best self?”

You are your best self when you have been the best person you could have possibly been in a day. You are your best self when you realize that you are enough. At the same time, you know that you can always become even better, so you learn and practice ways to be better than you were yesterday. You won’t be able to see much progress day to day, but looking back after a year (if you truly give your best effort) you will see a huge amount of improvement. Your best self is simply being the best possible person you can be. Not the best possible person others think you can be. Don’t think that to be your best you have to do what others think makes someone a good person. Do what truly makes you feel like a good person. Do what brings you happiness. By doing this, it will not only lead you to new opportunities, insights, and passions; but it will also be easier to accomplish your current dreams. When you are one with yourself and wholeheartedly being who you really are, things will start to change. Are you ready?

So many people will cover up their true selves to others just because they think that people might disapprove, or reject them. The truth is, though, that if you can’t be your true self around others, then you are not being your true self at all. Once you truly look at yourself and say, “this is who I am; I am simply me,” then you accept yourself as you are, flaws and all. When you talk to others, you will simply be you, not who you think they want you to be. If these people still disapprove of you, then they shouldn’t be in your life anyways. Be kind, but let this relationship fade. There is a quote that says, “the people who matter won’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.” It is exactly what I’m getting at. The negative people who don’t accept you for who you truly are, are simply creating more resistance between where you are now and your dream life. I am not saying that it is their fault that you are not living your best life, but I am saying that being around someone who puts you down for being you, or is always negative/judgmental, is not someone who is going to help you become everything you have always wanted. They don’t even believe it can happen for themselves! If they would just become their best self and start living passionately, they would see that not only is it possible, but it is absolutely necessary for a happy and fulfilling life. So just be honest when you are with others like your friends, family, strangers, coworkers, etc. Present yourself to them as you truly are. It feels vulnerable at first, but you will probably be very happily surprised with the results. A change in action precedes a change in results.

“A man may rule the world and still feel that he is unhappy if he is not supremely happy within himself.” -Seneca

So by being your best self now, you are not only more confident, happy, and fulfilled, but you are also well on your way to having your dream life. Work on yourself. Identify your flaws and make them better, read and learn about becoming your best self, get out of your comfort zone often (you are going to do a lot of this to bring your dream life into reality, so being comfortable with being uncomfortable is an awesome skill to have), spend time with people you look up to and want to be like, and mostly, accept and embrace who you are! These are all ways to be true to yourself and become your best self. Of course, there are many more ways out there, so don’t limit yourself to just the options above!

The more you are yourself, the closer you are to living your best life. In fact, one big part of living your dream life is being completely and authentically you. What good is a dream life if you are not able to be yourself? What is the point of any success if you aren’t happy with truly being yourself? What is your dream life worth if you wish you were someone else?

Nothing!

To be happy and successful in life, start with being your best self now. Your life can only be as great as you are!

“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” -Dr. Suess

To being your truest and best self,

-Alex