Big Talk is a movement that was started by Kalina Silverman to help bring people together and talk about what really matters in life.

I think that something we all need to do more is engage in Big Talk. It makes us happier, more fulfilled, and as a result of deeper conversation, we have a much richer and more active social life. Many people of all ages feel alone to some degree, and most are willing to connect if given the chance. The problem is that most people don’t know how to go about it, and are afraid of rejection or being perceived as strange for trying to make deeper conversation. It is up to each of us to reach out to others and make it happen. Not only will you feel good, but you will also learn so much about the other person. Who knows, you might even make some new close, lifelong friends… And what is life without people you care about to share it with? Part of that feeling of fulfillment is a happy and healthy social life, rich in deeply connecting with others and enjoying each other’s company.  A relationship is so much more meaningful and enjoyable when you really know the other person.

Now it’s your turn!

The Challenge: 

Make Big Talk with one person today. It can be your friend, a stranger, a coworker, classmate, whoever!

Let me know how it went! Tell me about your experience in the comments. I’d love to hear all of the great stories that will come from this challenge.

*Note: if you don’t know what to ask, then Kalina also made a card game with different deep questions on each one. She has some pictures of the cards for examples, which you can look at and pick one to ask someone today.  You can also look around on this site here, as there are plenty of deep questions you could ask others. 🙂

We all think that we are more alone than we actually are. I know I have felt this way plenty of times. But if you stop and think about it, I bet you can find at least one or two people who really love and care about you (even if it is just your mom). Whenever I feel alone, I stop and ask myself,

“Who will always be there for me no matter what?” 

This one question led me to notice that I actually have many people in my life who care and love me just as much as I love and care about them. I personally counted 7. Most of my suffering from feeling alone came from my own inaction. I wasn’t taking the time that was needed for each relationship to continue to thrive. I wasn’t taking these people for granted, but at the same time I was not putting as much proactive effort into keeping up close relationships with each of these people. I needed to take the initiative on my friendships and on the area of my social life.

It also made me realize that it is more fulfilling and meaningful to have a few friends whom you know and care about very deeply than tons of friends- all of whom you only know only on the surface. That will lead you to true loneliness quicker than anything else. I learned that the hard way. Keep the ones you love close.

Does this mean you can’t have any friends other than your closest friends? Of course not! I just mean that maintaining and engaging in those fewer but deeper relationships is going to bring you much more lasting happiness in your life, so focus on keeping those relationships happy, healthy, and consistent. Surface friends will bring you lots of fun, enjoyment, excitement, pleasure, and short-term happiness – which is great! We all need these feelings and emotions in our lives to some degree. But close friends will bring you the fulfillment, meaning, and lasting happiness we all truly want and need.  How do we become close to others? Make big talk!

To living your best life,

-Alex

ps- I am not endorsed in any way by Kalina Silverman for this post. I just love her movement and I think that it is something we all can improve at to make the world a better place. My goal through this blog is to help you be happy, healthy, and wealthy in all areas of your life. Making Big Talk can do this for your social life. Check out Kalina’s Ted Talk about Big Talk for more on the movement and the idea.